There and then my ill-fated "I" felt distinctly and, with an impulse of submission, became aware of the for me sad fact that, from that moment on, always and in everything, without exception, I would willy-nilly have to manifest myself according to this inherency formed in me,

Please take extreme notice to these words:

Always, And In Everything,

I have to manifest myself.

Now that Gurdjieff is awake, he becomes aware of a startling fact. 

As a man, he believed that his existence was a given. He believed that he existed. 

That is to say, that when one enters the state of inaction, that they remain. 

Gurdjieff now understands the naked truth of reality. He does not exist by default. Rather, he is aware of a sad fact. 

He neither exists nor is awake unless he wills it the entirety of his being. 

To remain awake, to rise above the sleeping drugs that keep a person asleep, this requires an enormous amount of concentrated conscious effort, and energy. 

Note I’m saying, Will, and Matter. 

The energy needed is the energy available. 

The energy available is all conscious experience. 

This is to say that for the energy worker, one must take all conscious experience as the fuel, which requires a massive amount of attention, which also pulls one into the present moment, you don’t have to be elsewhere.