Could Have Been A Joker
I could have been a Joker.
I think someone who understands that knows pain.
I heard someone say, privately, of the Joaquin Phoenix Joker,
"Desperation."
He was saying that, the person who played that character, they knew what desperation felt like.
He went on to describe a time in his life when there was this bed in a shoddy apartment.
The bed was held up barely by a few planks.
One day it broke.
In that moment, he let go, and started destroying the bed, leaving permanent marks on his hands.
Now he's one of the richest people out there, so I guess he didn't choose to be a Joker either.
What do I mean?
I mean, you either let pain break you, or make you.
What's my Joker origin story?
Recently, Teal Swan regrets talking of her origin stories. [EDIT]
She had hoped that transparency and vulnerability would create compassion and understanding of reality, but it just blew up in her face.
I value transparency more than anything, but right now, it doesn't sound like it's what will help people.
The Joker's origin was always a mystery, maybe it always will be.
What is a Joker, anyway?
Are we just painting the picture of the defensive pole of the Narcissist, complaining about the miserable state of affairs and choosing victimhood instead of empowered choices?
No, I don't think so, but what does that even mean?
Victimhood is when pain defines you. Your story is a haunted memory of limitation, lack, and ego. Your life then perpetuates pain. By lashing out at the world, you get your retribution.
Empowerment is when you use pain to create yourself.
Okay, maybe it's not that simple.
Empowerment is when you identify that you have the ability to choose to intend that others will suffer less.
You suffered so that others won't.
This creates a story, a purpose, a reason, a cause.
The hero and the villain both fall into the same unfortunate circumstances.
They both know pain.
Both options are understandable, one is simply less wise.
The person who chooses to perpetuate the pain cycle doesn't know themselves well enough to understand that they are a part of the whole species.
Active victimhood isn't a great look.
Part of that reason is that although a Joker might deny having the ability to make a difference, all of their actions still influence others.
Even in the case of this Joker, by his actions he inspires a following of hurt individuals that want to cause pain and suffering for others.
I'm somehow reminded that I recently heard the actor Aubrey Plaza mention that she would love to play the Joker.
Recently, I've been astounded by this woman. She has taken the darker aspects of her personality and used them for her own advantage to create comedic gold.
She explains choosing to be embarrassed on interviews instead of being fake.
There are a few small things she does that are brilliant in a way that's hard to see, such as letting other people feel uncomfortable by her long silences while she catches her thoughts.
There is a genius in it.
There is something about being able to look at and accept that we are the way we are, and own that.
If there was an antonym to active victimhood, I think that's what that might look like.
Anyone who is in to reading mythology or spirituality knows of the Archetypal Trickster.
The Loki to the Thor.
Maybe later, I'll write about this some more.
Thanks for Reading,
-Tyler
