The Zen Master has now reached 30 consecutive newsletter pieces. In pursuing this, I have found core truth and meaning that I spent a lifetime seeking. Thank you for being here.

The 30th newsletter includes the last and unknown teaching of a Zen master.
This piece is meaningful because it introduces what it means to be human,
to find beauty and love, and a way to handle pain.

Weekly Piece

The Last Words

Osho was truly mad. In writing these notes as a misunderstood genius high on nitrous oxide, he was mad enough to simultaneously take a gamble, a shot in the dark at the impossible.
He left a gift in this book to be unpacked by one who could hear. He could not be understood. All of the people who could understand him were dead. Now he is dead. He left this for the impossible chance that someone would receive it.
I do not believe there is another person alive who could unwrap this gift.
Today, I am the first person on Earth to share this.

In Osho's words, he asks not to share this teaching.

But I am not Osho's. And I cannot comply with his request. I am still young, too impatient for that. I have the patience, but the rebel in me is a bit mad,
I could hold out, but it would be less fun, and so I choose to be the fool and not the wise, with pain and pain time again.

I am a man of silence who only speaks out of necessity... of necessity because nobody speaks the language of the Real. Everybody speaks of everything else, endlessly about everything except the Real. Hence I have to speak. In the whole world there are very few who know, who can understand, who can speak of the Real.

I can understand why Leonardo da Vinci is Leonardo; why Michelangelo is Michelangelo; why Rabindranath is Rabindranath; and Khalil Gibran is Khalil Gibran. They have all touched this beauty in their dreams. Yes, only in their dreams - but they never knew the truth. What they knew was the object, but what I know is the knower... the subject, the Great Subjectivity... consciousness...

One man is not important... but what I am saying matters. What I am saying will remain, it will stay; it is of the essence. I don't matter. What matters is what I am saying.

The first part of this teaching, and you must remember this,
is that you cannot try to believe this teaching.

Do not even waste time trying to believe this teaching. It is an absurd teaching, you will never believe it.

This teaching is mad, so just enjoy it, laugh at it for your amusement.
When you get to a part that seems ridiculous, just remember that it is just crazy, just laugh at it.

The True Teaching

"Wipe that tear from my eye. I have to pretend to be enlightened, and enlightened people are not supposed to cry.

Just to be oneself is true. That is my teaching, just to be yourself; just to be your own purity, without fear... whatsoever it means, without fear, because it will mean different things for different people.

Howsoever beautiful a man is, there is something ugly about him, and vice versa; howsoever ugly a man is, there is something beautiful about him. Whereas a woman is always beautiful."

The woman knows, but the man writes. The one who knows always remains silent. Neither the Gita nor The Bible are written by men who know.

Those who know are silent, and the ones who do not know talk about it. About and about and about, round and around, turning around and around but he never comes to a real stop. And I am really stopped.

In me the existence has stopped.

In me also the woman knows.

It is the man who speaks.

The woman remains silent.

Just because of the eloquence of his words man has dominated; otherwise he knows nothing. The same is true for me too....

The woman knows,

is soaring high above the clouds,

leaving the man to talk.

The Final Teaching

Osho's final teaching is his teaching of inner purity,
spoken uncharacteristically in the voice of a poet.

The Introduction

Life consists of such small things: tears... horse riding....

God is not to be worshipped, but lived.

Lived in small things...

drinking a cup of tea, or sitting doing nothing.

Life is simply a song which is meaningless.

Let tears come into my eyes. Once in a while it is beautiful. One is renewed through tears, resurrected.

Remember, however hard I may appear, I am not. I am not a hard man...

I am as soft as the newly growing grass, as soft as the morning dew....

But let the dew appear in my eyes.

This is so beautiful.

Let me cry over this beauty.

Preface

To know is not to know.

Not to know is to know.

That's what the Upanishads say, and they say it rightly.

I cannot see, but I can cry,

I can again be a child.

Only very few people have known such a vastness.

The Beginning

But meditation is magic. It can transform the ordinary into the extraordinary. One cannot find words to describe it... poetry fades before it.

Poetry fails to describe it...

Music fails to describe it...

Everything fails to describe it...

Everything fails,

only silence....

Devageet, don't be afraid. I know you love me. Leave me alone while you write the notes.

Ashu and I can soar higher....

Go to the stars,

the rainbows,

to the world which is beyond...

which I cannot describe, nobody can describe. I am a madman. It is not easy to deal with me.

This is perfect.

This is transcendence.

This is sunrise.

It is... it is no more there.

Let the stars dance.

O it is so good

the source of everything great

where everything great

is born...

Michelangelo, Dostoevsky....

Yes! This is it!

Here Osho reaches to Dostoevsky's vision.

This is what one who does not know truth can never hear or understand,
the reaching is to be like a child.

To be enlightened, to be knowing, to be not knowing, to have awareness, to have beingness, these are all grand, but these are not the ultimate treasure of truth.

The ultimate treasure of truth is one's inner purity. There are many ways to say how it can be reached, one way to say it is to be one with the fundamental human truth,
and to be one with the fundamental inner truth is freedom.

To be enlightened, to be awake, to see this world, what a wonderful thing.

Can it be compared with simple bliss, simple inner purity?
It cannot.

The world has to see the ordinary, the small things, in order to see the extraordinary. That's why I say I am not enlightened. Enlightenment and non-enlightenment are two aspects of the whole. But the whole is known only by the one who can say, "I am no more enlightened." For example, there is only one man outside this Noah's Ark, J. Krishnamurti, but he is too much enlightened. He too must become unenlightened, then only will he be whole. That is why to see the eyes of a master is to see the eyes of ignorance. It is difficult to open the eyes, that is why I am in the body. Commitments have to be fulfilled.

Osho is used to teaching enlightenment. To teach enlightenment is easy.

Osho's final teaching is to see the ordinary. This is an impossible teaching.
You cannot teach someone to recognize the value in the ordinary, to see the world with eyes of a child. It is impossible to teach this true evaluation.

Others can recognize value in it, and much easier to see value in it if one is enlightened!
But no one will see it as the most valuable thing.
So many other things are valuable, so many other things are important.

To regard this as the most important thing, more important than any other,
this requires eyes to see. How can you teach someone to have eyes?
If they had the eyes, they would see. If they wanted to see, they would see.

Only one who has eyes to see the ultimate value in the ordinary is in love with human freedom as the highest meaning. Only this one can hold freedom above any other meaning, any other important thing, as the true, fundamental meaning.

Otherwise, many things are important, many things arise to be attended to.

"I cannot see, but I can cry,

I can again be a child.

Only very few people have known such a vastness."

This is Osho's Upanishad. Notice the similarity to the Upanishads.

I cannot see. My eyes are blind to knowing.
But I can cry.
My cry allows me to again be a child.

How is this so?

Many people ask, but how can I face suffering?
I understand that to accept pain is to end suffering,
but how can I accept pain?

Osho here gives the door.
It has to be felt.

The tear is the door. To feel the tear of beauty.
Once you feel the tear of beauty,
you move in to it,
you become it,
you become lost in it.

The tear of beauty is perfection, pure.
Beauty is pure. The tear of beauty is pure.
If you move into it, you move into perfection.

If you move into it, you move into total experience,
absolute and total love.
When you move into it, you move into your pain, you move into what was pain,
but the pain was only a barrier, pain is only at the door.

When you move into it, it is total pain, but total love. It hurts, but in a wonderful way.
Who knows if the human heart can bear it?

But there is a problem. There is a paradox.

The problem is walking through the door.
This is why enlightened ones stand at the door,
they don't go through it.

When you are enlightened, you might be able to recognize the true value of that tear of beauty.

But to move into the tear of beauty, it becomes you, you fall into it completely,
it is ordinary, an ordinary thing.
You cannot take your knowing with it, you cannot take your enlightenment with it.

If you go through the door, you will forget your enlightenment,
and here is the paradox, you might even forget the knowing of the value of that tear of beauty.

From enlightenment, you can know the value of the tear, but you cannot be inside the tear.

Inside the tear, you may forget your knowing of it.

Remember all of the people you have heard saying how the road of enlightenment is pointless, how you are always near, how everyone is near the door.

To spend 20 years becoming enlightened, to recognize what you could have had the whole time?
But even then, would you recognize it?
If you don't recognize it now, why would you recognize it then?

Do you see why this teaching is a pointless teaching?
It is pointless because if you wanted to value it, you would.

No one can convince you of it, it needs no convincing. It needs no religion.
All that is left is poetry, to talk about it.

I cannot say what I am seeing... I cannot describe it. It is going to be a failure, but there is nothing to be worried about. It is better to fail before great beauty than not to try at all.

I see the clouds being left behind,

mountain peaks being left behind,

everything left behind....

This is the way of godliness,

this is existence,

paganism.

I love beauty,

I love the world,

flowers, trees, stars....

I love, simply love.

This pure beauty is inside of the tear. The tear has no understanding.
You have to look into the tear. This is an action, not an understanding.
How to look into the tear?
You have to recognize the total beauty!
You have to sense it! It has to be sensed!
Why? Because beauty is a sense! It's not a knowing.

To recognize it, you have to see the vision of beauty.
Now it may sound like I'm just making things up.
But think about it.
You can't understand the vision.
You have to see the vision, it is vision, it is sight,
it is a sight to behold.
This vision is within the tear.

It must be difficult listening to a man like me twice each day. It allows me a chance to share my vision. But I cannot share it in words. My tears show it. I cannot say it.

I cannot hear anything.

Everyone is so full of bullshit.

I don't want to hear.

I can relax again and face the rainbows.

This is the very essence of poetry.

This is the moment when Jesus delivered his parables, particularly The Sermon on the Mount.

It was spoken at such a moment.

It does not mean that it was spoken from a mountain, but from a very great height; from this height.

Only from this height is it possible to speak of truth and beauty. This is the beauty. This is the moment, the very moment that great riches are created. You are so close to that moment... but so far. It is there within you; whenever you dive within yourself you can reach.

The height is looking at the vision, relaxing and looking at the beauty.
Again it will sound like I am making things up again.
This looking is not looking as you look at a picture with your eyes,
this vision is in the heart, you have to see it with your heart,
it is a felt sense, it is a felt vision.
It is a total vision, but it is a felt vision.
It has no understanding, but it can be fully seen.

In enlightenment you can know the fullness.
In totally feeling this vision, you can totally be the fullness, but without the knowing.

You cannot try to feel it, it is only that if you do feel it, even a hint of it, if there is even a hint of music in the words, a hint of resonance, a hint of light,
then you simply move closer to that feeling, you bring it closer to you, you bring it to you.

Why is it a tear? What do I mean to become this tear?

Understand. When you see something truly beautiful, a tear comes to your eye.
It is at that very moment when your eyes are fully watering, full of that beauty,
that is the moment that you move totally in to the tear.
That is when you are at the door.
It is only possible at that moment, that is when the door is open.

It does not seem like pain when you see something beautiful and your eyes totally water, it does not seem like pain, it seems magnificent.
But if you go into it, you will find that it is your total pain. And you move through it.

So, you cannot just move into this now. First you would have to perceive something so beautiful that it makes your eyes water. Then, you move into it.

Would it be worth it? What happens?

What happens is you feel your entire soul as that beauty, as pure, as ecstasy, as pure love, in fullness. Perfect, beyond perfect, beyond words.

Which sight was Osho referring to?
Osho was referring to Dostoevsky's sight.
This eye-watering vision is here. There is pain in it, but beauty in it.

Why say a tear?

Osho was providing a simple access point to this. A simple method. A single tear.
Single, and simple. Not hard.
Not complex. Not requiring great comprehension.

He composed this like a Sutra, these often sound simple but are containing more meaning when expanded by the teacher. This is Osho's 113th Meditation.

Really it is like Sutra 16.

"Blessed one, as senses are absorbed in the heart, reach the center of the lotus."

But unlike the 112 Meditations, it is blasphemous. The 112 Meditations are sane and lead to the same destination. Osho charts a new possibility.

Osho gives a different access point, a different moment to reach.
This teaching is,
Simply, open up to the beauty of tears.
Absorb them into the heart.
Reach the center of the lotus.

Tears are the secret of Dostoevsky's beauty. Osho discovered this and gave this as his final teaching. In this is the vision to bring tears to the eyes and one can move within.

"None of us could understand that at the time, but he shed tears of joy. "Yes," he said, "there was such a glory of God all about me: birds, trees, meadows, sky; only I lived in shame and dishonoured it all and did not notice the beauty and glory."

He left them at last not able to bear the suffering of his heart, flung himself on his bed and wept. Then, wiping his tears away, he went out to them joyful and told them, "Brothers, I am your brother Joseph."

And I shall not weep from despair, but simply because I shall be happy in my tears, I shall steep my soul in emotion. I love the sticky leaves in spring, the blue sky – that's all it is. It's not a matter of intellect or logic, it's loving with one's inside, with one's stomach. One loves the first strength of one's youth."
- Dostoevsky

I shall be happy in my tears, I shall steep my soul in emotion.

Happiness in tears in the sight of beauty is Dostoevsky's secret.
Osho's teaching is that it is more than merely perceiving the vision,
but totally becoming it, opening to it.

"I love to be on these peaks. I love the heights. This beauty, this is sundram. This is something that I can only explain to my lovers. It is beautiful. This is not a story, it is not a novel, it is reality. My tear is a proof. Truth has to be proved by one's tears, by one's existence, by one's way of living." - Osho

Osho misquotes Alyosha in Dostoevsky's novel here. I will have to find the reference another time.

One longs to love with one's inside, with one's stomach.

"I cannot see, but I can cry,

I can again be a child.

Only very few people have known such a vastness."

If you want to see the tear you will need to come to the left side. It is beautiful to cry for someone. To have a tear for someone is far more beautiful than to be joyous. It is like a shower; it is as if in the middle of the night the sun has risen. I will not say anything, I will only keep silent.

Arise! Ascend! Awaken!

These are words to be understood.

In this last teaching, Osho teaches Dostoevsky and follows his command.

"Sometimes even if he has to do it alone, and his conduct seems to be crazy, a man must set an example, and so draw men's souls out of their solitude, and spur them to some act of brotherly love, that the great idea may not die." - Dostoesvky

This is a feat of Osho. During this talk he exclaims,

I am such a devil! I have always been a devil!

He is such a devil in this. He is applying his genius to make an absurd act, simply because it is true to his heart and nature.
He throws out enlightenment,
geniusly synthesizing enlightened teaching with this heart's cry.

His action is divine madness. Instead of reaching up to heaven,
he has chosen to double down on the divine rebel.
He has already rejected religions, rejected the earth,
now he rejects even the ancient ways themselves in the name of freedom.

He has chosen to be like Khalil instead of Buddha, contradicting himself, he has chosen the object, to point to the dream.

They have all touched this beauty in their dreams.

If you could visualize the scene, he has turned backwards at the critical moment, overthrowing rationality itself.

In doing so, while his genius is seen by himself, he also lowers his so cherished image, he becomes smaller. Just as he mocks the Christian for being less than Christ, he acts in service to Dostoevsky, becoming a shadow in his legacy, seeing no higher way to be true.

He knows all of this in this second.

Instead of leading into the kingdom of heaven, to the land of buddhahood,
he redirects and shows the way into a totally different reality, a favorite dream.

This likely makes little sense. To say it in a different way, instead of using a technique to go into enlightenment, he redirects the technique to beauty.

He has essentially bended reality. How could he not? He is in love with truth.

His actions are also true to his character. Osho doesn't care what others think, obviously. But Osho cares what Osho thinks.

He would pride himself on having the highest vision, of being in the service of humanity, of being an original, one of a kind.

But to serve humanity, he, totally, melodramatically, overdramatically creates a ridiculous scene that involves the acknowledgement of being lesser than a great man like Fyodor Dostoevsky, while using his genius, while rebelling against reality itself.

The friend said, "God has given you such great talent. You have sung six thousand songs yet you are crying?" Rabindranath said, just as I myself am saying with tears in my eyes, "That is why I am crying. Those six thousand songs are all efforts, but failures. The unsung has remained missing. I am weeping and crying, and asking God to help me a little more. Maybe I can succeed a little more next time. And you are telling me not to cry.... These are my last breaths...." And with tears in his eyes he died. What a beautiful death – and a beautiful life too. And what courage to say, "The song has remained unsung," even after being a Nobel prize winner.

In a way you could say that in a single three-in-one action, Osho uses his power to attack God.

He creates an ultimate act to close his show, but no one but he knows the play, the song is unsung, and he doesn't care.

This final teaching will not save you. In any case, it might even kill you. But it does take us one step closer to freedom.

I am such a con-man. Even my ears are trained, they hear only what they want to hear. My eyes are trained, they see only what they want to see – for the simple reason that I want to live the way I want. I have always lived according to my own way, right or wrong, I don't care. If there is a God, and I have to face him, he will have to answer to me, not me answer to him. I have lived my own way. I am not answerable to anybody. When you live according to somebody else you are always confused, and answerable to them; always trying to fulfill their expectations. I don't expect anything from anybody, nor do I want anybody to expect from me.
Freedom is my slogan. It is freedom that brings truth.

Instead of pure consciousness, he sees what he wants to see, he sees the beauty, the truth, because that's what he wants.
Yes of course he has been misquoting the poet all this time, as Dickinson writes,

I died for beauty, but was scarce
Adjusted in the tomb,
When one who died for truth was lain
In an adjoining room.

He questioned softly why I failed?
“For beauty,” I replied.”
And I for truth – the two are one;
We brethren are,” he said.

And so, as kinsmen met a-night,
We talked between the rooms,
Until the moss had reached our lips,
And covered up our names.

Osho failed he says,

It is better to fail before great beauty than not to try at all.

Why I failed? For beauty. And I for truth.

And truth is priceless. The one who loves truth will die for it.

In this moment, Osho is not enlightened, he is a man, and man is the devil. He is a madman, leaving his final calling card, his final choice, his final response to God.
He says at the end of this,

Thank you. I always want to say the last word myself. Even in my grave I will sit up and say, "Okay, close it." If it is a funeral... but if it is done as it is in India, I will say, "Okay, start the fire!" But I want to have the last word. If you bug me I can be terrible.

It is I who is going to have the last laugh.

He is laughing inside at all of this. He knows no one will unpack this, but it doesn't matter, because he knows. He has the last laugh.

The Quote of The Week

"The sincere gentleness held in this painting.. the warmth of its heart.. It was all for the sake of those who gaze upon it... ? How interesting... Ah, I see! I have been a fool! Beauty is not the superficial thing I have long thought it to be!
It is something that wells up in the heart until it breaks free!
It is a gift, given by a subject unto its viewer... !
Yes, I finally see the truth...!"
- Yusuke Kitagawa

P.S.

There is more to this story.

A Rebel in Love With God is the direct follow-up to this piece and will be included in next week's newsletter, but you can continue on and read it now at the link below. This addresses the question, What does it mean to be human? It is important because it introduces escaping internal suffering.