The Zen N! #55

It feels so good finding out who I am. Starting to be who I am, who I've always been. It's like I've always been here, yet somehow covered up, unactualized.

It feels like I've never really changed, I've always been trying to express myself.

There are some things that have changed though. Understanding has changed. The Fourth Way aka the Gurdjieff Work aka The Work caused changes in me. It turns out that playing with real fire is no joke.

I also feel kind of magical, like magnetism is running through my body.

I've thought about bringing teachings of The Work to the world.

I was concerned. I'm still concerned, about having information that can hurt people. Maybe even more concerned to lead anyone away from the white path, the path of the heart.

I don't know if it makes sense, but if you go away from your heart, if you go further into mind, then you walk away from the light of your own home, and out into darkness.

That's what the series I was publishing was about, is that The Work is mechanical, objective, scientific, it's the stuff of mind, not heart. And, there's nothing safe about it.

I don't believe that there's anything safe about life.

I don't believe meditation is safe.

I think the word safe demands the question:

Are we trying to break out of the Matrix, or make it more comfortable?

At the same time, I like the way The Work has changed me. I like the feeling of consistency from developing my concentration. I like feeling more grounded. I like being able to look at the world more simply and clearly.

I like feeling more like who I am and less like the impressions I've picked up from outside. I also like that I can understand things I couldn't before.

And even though it feels like The Work is off of the path,
[ the path is love, but few know what that means ]

I've always said that understanding brings love, or that

Understanding = Love,

not because an ancient scripture says this, but because when I understand something more, I love it more.

And this is the case again. I understand the world more, and I love the world more.

And maybe for the first time, I think, I love myself wholly?

I think that's what I feel.

Is that what they mean by a deal with the devil?
Probably not.

A trade of darkness in exchange for a potion of love?

Or maybe, it's not that.

Maybe it's:

"UNTIL YOU MAKE THE UNCONSCIOUS CONSCIOUS, IT WILL RULE YOUR LIFE, AND YOU WILL CALL IT FATE." - Carl Jung

If you understand that quote, you can understand this:

If a man were to look directly into the face of God,
he would die.

If you understand that statement, you can understand this too:

Awareness is a superpower. If you point it at darkness, the darkness will become light.

In plain speak: There is no plain speak for this. There is a phenomenon that:

Whatever you look at changes.

There are people who have never tasted Awareness, and they're afraid of it.

I think that's about on par with a person saying,

"I'm afraid of concentrating."

I'm afraid of not being aware.

Stay Blessed,

Tyler Choice